Mulvihills.org

This is for you, Kevin. For Marisol, Amador, Joaquin, and Sonoma. For Dennis and Megan. For Greg and Thelma. For Caitlin, Cathryn, and Sara. For Michael, Matthew, and me. This is for all of Kevin’s extended family and friends.

Fourteen years ago, I was having Thanksgiving dinner with my brother, Kevin. We were at my dad’s house and our little sisters were still quite little. The topic on everyone’s tongue was the movie Titanic which had just become the most attended movie of all time. Caitlin was shocked to learn that Kevin had not seen it and even more shocked when he said he had no intention of ever seeing it.

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because I know how it ends.” he replied.

Kevin approached life in much the same way. He despised endings, but he cherished new beginnings. He wouldn’t go see the movie Titanic, but Kevin would have been the first person in line to buy a ticket on the Titanic’s maiden voyage. Every moment for Kevin was a maiden voyage, a chance to explore and discover.

My brother had an eternal intensity, a limitless curiosity, and a raging passion for experiencing life. For those who recall any conversation with Kevin, it was never a straight line. There was never an ending to any topic- just a series of exchanges that were always ‘to be continued’.

As human beings, we’re often trapped in the past. Or we’re constantly trying to escape into the future. It’s very easy to overlook the present. Kevin recognized the present in all of us.

He loved the moment he was in. I think that’s why Kevin grew to love soccer so much. It’s one of the few sports where the clock doesn’t stop during the game. The actual ending is never known by the players until the referee announces it.

Kevin never lived in the past, and he never lived in the future. As a child, he acted like child. As a teenager, he acted like a teenager. When Kevin became a professional, he acted like a professional. When he became a husband and a father, he loved being a husband and a father.

Kevin was a Man for Others, a true Samaritan who always stopped to help those in need when others would not. He always took your phone call, no matter the time of day. He planted the seeds of life into so many people. It’s now easy to look out at all of your faces and see the orchards in front of me. Each of you bearing fruit, and each of you bearing even more seeds.

Kevin inspired us to be who we are. He never judged. He reached out and touched us physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. But most of all, he reached us playfully. With Kevin, the most important people in the room were always children, especially his own. He loved and lived for his family.

Kevin never tried to teach me anything. He was too busy showing me everything. And because of that, I came to fear almost nothing. Kevin showed me how important it is to focus on the present, to live each minute without the weight of time. He led us into the light of today, and many of us chose to follow.

Kevin wasn’t perfect. None of us are. But there is beauty and bounty in our imperfection. The composer Leonard Bernstein once observed that, “Glass shines brighter when it’s broken.” Kevin showed us the brightness in our brokenness. He challenged us to stop hiding our imperfections. He reminded us that it’s only when we share and accept our brokenness, that we truly start a new beginning.

What would Kevin say right now? He would tell us to become more aware, to awaken ourselves to all the grace that surrounds us. He would encourage us to meet strangers, to forgive trespasses, and above all, to shed our hold on the past and our grip on the future. He would say, “Don’t think about the ending, or you’ll miss this new beginning.”

I was reading lyrics from Kevin’s favorite artist, New Order, and came across a piece I hadn’t seen in decades. It’s a song named, “Shellshock” and I’d like to share a small piece of it with you because I know it meant something to Kevin.

When we walk through open doorways,
Counting time in one or more ways
We can’t find our peace of mind
And life becomes a life of crime

Hold on! It’s never enough
It’s never enough until your heart stops beating
The deeper you get, the sweeter the pain
Don’t give up the game until your heart stops beating